Wednesday, August 20, 2003

Smile.

Today my boss took me by surprise. He summoned me into his office and after much tip-toeing around the subject, said that I did not seem happy with my job. I was certain from his tone that I was about to be fired and was surprised by a surge of guilt, that somehow I've disappointed this person, who knows nothing about me. He was reluctant to mention specifics, as if I'm supposed to understand. It seems his problem is that I “never smile” and I “avoid interaction with others.” And since this is a “tight knit place” and “office morale is very important” this is negatively impacting the group. I stammered out something about a difficult breakup. He seemed appeased and offered a few consoling words.

I still feel stunned by the realization that all I'm doing to change is not enough. I'm expected to be cheerful as well. What could I possibly say to him? Sorry for infecting the others, sir…

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