Tuesday, September 23, 2003

Career moves

My design for the perfume bottle was accepted. It’s my first success with the company and a huge relief. Even though I was ultimately disappointed with my proposal, this news came at a time when I sorely needed it. I was beginning to doubt my ability to adapt to this life and feared having to start all over again.

In celebration I even allowed myself to be convinced to go out with a group from the office and get a little drunk. They kept ordering me vodka tonics and soon I was thinking, how easy it was to drop my mental checklists, my vigilance in this unfamiliar room. How easy it was to chat and laugh at unfunny jokes. Perhaps I should cultivate a few bad habits.

I soon excused myself, explaining I don’t often drink and didn’t want to make a fool of myself. There were a few stares but they were too concerned with their own enjoyment to question me. I feel I’ve achieved something—the appearance of being (almost) normal.


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