Saturday, October 04, 2003


...the stakes are high, the plot races along, throw in some international travel and high speed chases that our star handles decisively and gracefully. G thinks he's the star, but I bet I photograph better.

Actually, there’s been quite a lot of sitting around, leaving our heroine vulnerable to random and intrusive thoughts that sway her mind unpredictably, pushing her ever further out of the present moment. We needed that money but now everything's gone horribly wrong—it is my fault. Because I listened to what HE said. Since when do I ascribe to him the judgement to know what’s right? Am I really so awed by his abilities? Do I really want him to like me so much that I would be swayed by his untrained appraisal of a situation, his childish pride in his new powers? The truth is, I did not do what was automatic. I was acting.

All day I’ve been trying to keep calm and really it would be a relief to just sit down and bawl—some warrior!


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