Friday, July 15, 2005

The Future Is Unwritten

Another cafe. This one smells vaguely of garbage, has falling-apart furniture with stuffing poking through the holes. Two women, sitting together near the door to the alley, each talking on cellphones and clutching paper cups. A man blowing cigarette smoke through the open front door. I am aware that I am being followed. I accept this. I have my escape plan, for now. I can't leave this city yet. It is too important, this peace and sense of purpose we have together. When I'm alone I notice hunger and hurt, and disturbing headlines. Last night I could not sleep and wandered through the park, practically daring an attack. I rested on a bench, under the violet sky, thinking of the Gandhi quote: "Be the change you want to see in the world." That I cannot be. Perhaps a destructive nature can be good, if it re-establishes balance. If. What if I fail? I thought about the desert community, those children in the school room. Is that what I want? I lack a utopian imagination. My mind fixes on individuals. An individual. I am, essentially, a servant.

The cruelest assessment I ever made about myself is that I cannot change. Yet somehow it happened anyway. How is it then, that I can trust my own strength?


Anonymous Anonymous said...

take no prisoners darling.

9:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Look to the three sisters for hope and friends

6:34 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Take heart, dear. Being an individual that lives for others is the best we can achieve in this realm, and very few really do it. Remember that there are friends that believe in you...

8:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

fire breeds birth and beauty

2:44 AM  
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3:57 PM  
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4:14 PM  
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7:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Resist the all-seeing eye. Go back farther, they stole the image from the travelers. The Eye of Horus is a talisman for those who can truly see.

9:28 AM  
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Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good luck in your travel and with your traveler! I´m too coward to escape from The Big Machine

6:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

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6:05 PM  

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